An Expository Study of Colossians 3:18–25 (NIV)
Introduction: The Invisible Interior Design
We spend a significant amount of time and money on the “interiors” of our lives. We renovate our homes to make them more inviting, and we carefully curate our digital spaces to look peaceful and organized. But often, if we were to look at the “interior design” of our souls or the atmosphere of our households, we would find a stark contrast: clutter, tension, and mismatched priorities.
In Colossians 3, the Apostle Paul isn’t interested in superficial “curb appeal.” He is performing a structural renovation. He begins by showing us the “New Self”—a wardrobe of grace that changes how we feel about ourselves. But then, he does something radical: he walks that new identity right through the front door of our homes.
Paul insists that if the peace of Christ is “ruling” in your heart on Sunday morning, it must also be “ruling” in your marriage on Monday night, in your parenting on Tuesday afternoon, and at your desk on Wednesday morning. Today, we explore how the gospel moves from a private, internal feeling to a public, household reality.
I. The Order of the Home
Colossians 3:18–21 > “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.”
Cross References
- Ephesians 5:21 – “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
- 1 Peter 3:7 – “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect…”
Why We Struggle
The word “submission” is often misunderstood as an issue of value rather than function, leading to resistance. Conversely, husbands often struggle to love sacrificially, falling into “harshness” when their ego is bruised. In the parent-child relationship, the struggle is often a battle of wills: children desire premature independence, and parents can easily cross the line from discipline to provocation.
Know This
Paul is not baptizing the cultural norms of his day; he is transforming them. In a Roman culture where the father (the paterfamilias) had absolute, even life-and-death power, Paul gives him responsibilities. Notice the phrase “as is fitting in the Lord.” Every relationship in the household is now viewed through the lens of Christ. We act a certain way not because the other person is perfect, but because our behavior is an offering to God.
II. The Heart of Service
Colossians 3:22–25 > “Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism.”
Cross References
- 1 Corinthians 7:22 – “For the one who was a slave when called to faith in the Lord is the Lord’s freedman; similarly, the one who was free when called is Christ’s slave.”
- Galatians 3:28 – “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
Why We Struggle
We struggle with “eye-service”—the temptation to work hard only when the boss is watching. In our modern workplace, we often feel like “just a number,” leading to cynicism, laziness, or a “quiet quitting” mentality. We find it difficult to see our daily labor as having any eternal significance.
Know This
While the Roman institution of slavery was vastly different and more pervasive than modern employment, the principle applies: Christ is your true Boss. When you work, you aren’t just earning a paycheck; you are “serving the Lord Christ.” This dignifies even the most menial task. Furthermore, Paul reminds both the worker and the master that God is a just judge who shows no favoritism.
Summary Application
HEAD – What to Understand
Understand that the “New Self” (vv. 12-17) is best tested in the “New Household” (vv. 18-25). Theology that doesn’t reach your kitchen table or your office desk is not true biblical theology. God cares deeply about how authority is exercised and how submission is offered.
HEART – What to Feel
Feel the freedom of working for a Master who is always kind and always sees your effort. You don’t have to “curry favor” with people through manipulation or “people-pleasing” because you already have the “inheritance” (v. 24) secured in Christ.
HAND – What to Do
Choose the environment where you spend the most time (home or work). Identify one way you have been “working for human masters” or acting out of “harshness.” This week, perform one task or have one conversation with the conscious thought: “I am doing this for Jesus, not for them.”
Key Takeaways
- The “Fitting” Fit: Authority and submission are “fitted” for the believer to bring order and peace, mirroring Christ’s relationship with the Church.
- Discouragement is a Danger: Paul warns fathers not to “embitter” children. We must lead in a way that encourages rather than crushes the spirit of those under our care.
- Work as Worship: Secular work is a myth for the Christian. Every deed is a spiritual act when done “in the name of the Lord.”
- The Ultimate Reward: Our primary motivation isn’t an earthly promotion or a happy spouse, but the “reward of the inheritance” from Christ.
The “New Self” Litmus Test: What This Passage Is and Is Not
To ensure we don’t misapply Paul’s instructions, we must distinguish between the cultural shadows and the kingdom substance. Use this list to clarify the heart of the message for your congregation.
What the Takeaways ARE
- The Gospel is “Down-to-Earth”: The primary takeaway is that theology is meant to be lived. If your faith doesn’t change your tone of voice at the dinner table or your work ethic in the office, you haven’t fully “put on” Christ.
- A New Motivation: We do not serve, love, or obey to earn God’s favor, but because we are already “chosen, holy, and dearly loved” (v. 12). The “why” is the Lord, not the person in front of us.
- Dignity in Every Role: Paul takes the lowest social classes of the ancient world (slaves and children) and tells them their daily tasks have cosmic significance. Every person is an ambassador of the King.
- The End of “Selective Christianity”: Following Jesus means giving Him the “umpire’s whistle” (v. 15) in every room of our lives—the bedroom, the boardroom, and the sanctuary.
What the Takeaways ARE NOT
- NOT a License for Abuse: Paul’s call for submission is never a “blank check” for husbands or parents to be tyrannical. He explicitly forbids “harshness” and “embittering” others. Authority in Christ’s kingdom is for the protection and growth of others, not for self-service.
- NOT Social Stagnation: Paul isn’t saying, “Stay in your social class and never seek change.” He is saying, “Regardless of your current circumstances, you can serve Christ now.”
- NOT a Moral Checklist: This isn’t a “to-do” list for the “Old Self” to try harder. It is a description of how the “New Self” naturally breathes. If you try to do these things without “sinking into” Christ first, you will burn out.
- NOT “People Pleasing”: Verse 22 is clear: we don’t work just to curry favor with “earthly masters.” We aren’t seeking the applause of men; we are seeking the “Well done” of our Father.